Have you ever considered how important parting words can be? Think about it. When you know you’re about to be separated from a loved one for a period of time and you know you just have time for one final statement or phrase, you want to say the right thing don’t you!? You want to give them one more expression of love, or one more piece of wisdom to take with them. You’ve got one more shot and you want it to “hit the target” with your parting words. Here are some examples of what I’m getting at.
When WWII broke out my dad joined the Navy, and I remember him telling me about the day his dad put him on the bus for boot camp. Dad said that his father, a calloused Mississippi farmer who was not given to much emotion, gently but firmly grabbed his arm right as he was about to step up into the bus, and with tears in his eyes said, “Charles, you remember whose son you are!” My grandfather wanted my dad, Charles Adams, to remember that no matter where Uncle Sam sent him, he was still part of a loving family. Before he went off to war he wanted him to know that parents and siblings would be missing him and praying for him, and he squeezed that important message into those seven parting words.
I remember when my two oldest kids got their driver’s licenses and began to haul themselves around to school and athletic practices and the mall. As much as I was thankful not to have to be their chauffeur, I worried constantly while they were gone. So before they left I would always make sure I got their attention and then I’d say, “Listen! Be careful out there. Please be careful!” And I still do that every time they leave! I know that’s not very profound but with these ten parting words I want them to be reminded that, as I have told them over and over and over again, driving in Montgomery County is a dangerous thing so they mustn’t relax, they must pay attention, they must remember everything we taught them about driving, and be careful, because we didn’t want them to get hurt. Can any of you parents out there relate?
Here’s one more example to illustrate my point about the importance we give to parting words. Have you ever said good bye to your husband as he leaves on a lengthy business trip, and the stress of getting him ready coupled with your not wanting him to go but knowing he had to, sparked a quarrel and you both ended up saying hurtful things you didn’t mean and he ended up leaving with you both mad? And, after his car pulled out of the driveway, you thought, “What if his plane crashes on take off? I don’t’ want these to be our last words.” So you called him on his cell and said, “Hey, I didn’t mean what I said. I didn’t want us to part like that. I just hate when you have to leave.” And then you proceeded to say the right parting words! No need to raise your hands to indicate you’ve done that, but you know what I mean. Parting words can be very important. We don’t want to mess up these last “conversations.” We want to use our final sentences to say essential things, things that need to be said, things we don’t want our loved ones to forget during their absence.
Well, every Sunday for the past nine years, since my very first Sunday as your pastor, I’ve used the same parting words with you over and over and over and over and over again. I remember selecting these 53 words after a great deal of thought and prayer, because in my mind they convey essential truth, things I don’t want us to ever forget as a church family. This is why I do the same benediction each Sunday. It’s not that there aren’t other great benedictions out there. It’s not that I’m lazy and don’t want to have to come up with something new. No. It’s because I sincerely believe that these words, taken from the third chapter of Colossians, contain vital truth that we must never forget if we are to continue to be a healthy church.
And it must be working. You must be at least remembering these words, because I often see you lip-syncing me as I walk down the aisle while saying these same words each week And, that’s a good thing! Lip sync me all you want. Hide these words in your hearts! If we ever forget them, if we ever cease to embrace the Scriptural principles they contain, Redland will cease to be Redland. We’ll cease to be a grace-driven church family that God can use as a powerful tool to further His eternal kingdom.
Now, as I said, my parting words to you each week come almost word for word from the third chapter of Paul’s letter to the church at Collossae. And this morning I want us to read them together. Stand with me and let’s read from the screens.
15 – Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.
16 – Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.
17 – And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of Christ, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.
This is the Word of the Lord. Thanks be to God.
As we wind up this homecoming weekend in which we have celebrated our 40th anniversary as a church, I want us to study this familiar text. I want us to review three things these words teach us-three basic principles that we must never forget if we are to have reason in the future to continue to gather and celebrate as we do today. So what do these verses tell us about church health? What do these parting words tell us when it comes to congregational success and effectiveness?
(1) Well one thing that this text tells us is that church unity is absolutely important.
Look at verse 15 once again and answer this question. What do I tell you every single week? “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts.” Right! Why must the peace of Christ rule here? “Because you are called to peace.” Right again! Unity is God’s command to us. It’s our calling as His church!
Now this Greek word that we translate as “rule” literally means “umpire.” It’s a word that was used in Jesus’ day in the athletic arena. It was a word that described the official who settled disputes on the field, like our soccer refs who say when the ball is out of bounds or when a player has touched the ball with his hands, or when a player has done something illegal, like pushing my daughter! The umpire runs out on the field and says, “You can’t do that!” And I say, “Right ref! Give that girl a yellow card! Do all you need to in order to get their relationships out there on the field right!”
Well, Paul is saying the peace of Christ is to be the “umpire” in our relationships as Christians. When disputes come in a church family, and they will, the peace of Christ is to rule, because we know that in His Word God says how His children are to interact and behave. We are to love one another and settle disputes in a way that honors our Lord and keeps this church family bound together. And we must never forget this for two basic reasons.
A. First, because the indisputable fact is we each need the Christ-inspired quality of fellowship that Christian unity brings.
You see, we are “built” to require healthy friendships with others. Part of being a human being is this need to live relationally connected lives with other human beings. As our Creator teaches us in Genesis, “It is not good for man [or woman] to be alone.” Bill Hybels puts it this way: “God wired each of us with a desire to know and be known, to love and be loved, to serve and be served.” And he’s right. To function as happy, fulfilled people, we need healthy relationship with other people!
In his book, The Broken Heart, Dr. James Lynch cites statistics that show that adults without deep relationships have an early death rate that’s twice as high as those who enjoy regular, caring interaction with others. And there is tons of scientific research to confirm this. Studies tell us that our relational life has just as much impact on our physical health as obesity, smoking, high blood pressure, and lack of exercise. All this goes to show that in order for us to stay emotionally and physically healthy we all require friends. It’s kind of like the nutritional statement we read on the side of a jar of vitamins where it says how much of Vitamin C or E or B that we need each day. Because, we each have a “minimum daily relational requirement.” And, I’m not talking about casual acquaintances. All of us have more than enough of those surface-level relationships. No. I’m referring to our inborn need for deep friendships with other people
Back in 1995 newspaper columnist, Marla Paul was brave enough to admit this need in her popular column in the Chicago Tribune. She wrote,
“The loneliness I feel every day saddens me. How did it happen that I could be forty-two years old and not have enough friends? I recently read my daughter Hans Christian Andersen’s The Ugly Duckling. I felt an immediate kinship with this bird who flies from place to place looking for the creatures with whom he belongs. He eventually finds them. I hope I do too.”
Well, the day after Marla’s column appeared, the switchboard at The Tribune was flooded with calls from people who said they wrestled with the same loneliness. People even stopped Marla on the street and at her daughter’s school to say that they understood exactly what she was saying and that they empathized with her. They said they too hungered for close friends. Letters poured in from all over the country. In fact, her “I NEED FRIENDS” column generated seven times more mail than usual-all from women who said in essence that they felt the same inner loneliness.
And, by the way, this problem is not unique to women. We men are notorious for having casual surface acquaintances with others…teammates, business associates, customers, golfing buddies, and fishing pals, but we hide the fact that we too long for close friendships, soul-mates, kindred spirits. Jim Conway, author of several books dealing with men’s issues writes, “The American male is lonely and friendless, but he tries to maintain his macho image at all costs, even if it means isolation from people.”
Well, when Christ came He founded a group of people that He specially gifted to meet our inborn relational needs. And of course, the group I am referring to is the church, a church family like we have here at Redland, a group of Christians who acknowledge Jesus as head, people who relate to each other in a way that reflects Jesus’ sacrificial love for us all.
Now, I want you to consider for a moment how vitally important our church family is to each of us. The people who sit all around us this morning are a central part of our lives. We see each other several times a week. We cry together. We laugh together. We divide burdens and multiply joys. Our closest possible friends tend to be found in our church family. Many times even our physical family springs from the church. I’m just curious. How many of you are like me in that you found your spouse in the church? In fact, I imagine it was the same church in which the two of you were eventually married. Who gathered around you to pledge to work with you as you dedicated yourself to raise your children so that they could come to understand and respond to God’s love in sending Jesus to earth? Right! It was your church family! When our children grow up and marry it is our church family who comes to witness their vows and to celebrate their union. When we grieve over the death of parents or spouses or children, our church family members come along side and cry with us and help us. When the doctor tells us we have a disease that just may take our lives, it is usually not a neighbor or some coworker at the office who enters into that crisis and says, “I understand.” No, it is most often someone from our church family because as Hybels puts it,
“In a church family that relates as Jesus intended, masks come off, conversations get deep, hearts get vulnerable, lives are shared, accountability is invited, and tenderness grows. In a church body where Jesus is honored as head, Agape, self-sacrificing love abounds…and when it does people really do become brothers and sisters. They gather to share from their hearts on the deepest levels. They walk compassionately with each other through life’s problems and pain.”
No church family is perfect, but there really is nothing like a healthy church family when it comes to providing us with our inner need for deep relationships with other people, because it is here that we find people who, like us, have experienced the grace of God. It is here that we find other people who have given their lives to Jesus Christ and because of that, a church family like ours is where we find soul-mates in the truest sense of the word. Wouldn’t you agree? Aren’t you thankful for the unity we have enjoyed over the years here at Redland? Hasn’t God blessed you with precious deep relationships here? Sure He has! This is one thing we are celebrating this weekend! It’s the reason many of you have traveled so far. We did it because it’s like come home to a family reunion! It’s why when Uncle Sam or retirement takes us elsewhere we continue to swap e-mails and phone calls and Christmas cards and birth announcements and wedding invitations. This is why many Redlanders like the Uys and the Starosts plan their family vacations around visiting former Redland family members, like the Shuperts and the Esteps and the Riveras and the Holts and the Saunders. It’s not just to save on the cost of staying in a hotel. No, it’s because we make great friends here, friends that become like family, family we want to stay in touch with!
So you can see how relational unity in this church is important to us. It’s an essential “vitamin” if we are to be emotionally and physically healthy.
B. But our unity is also important to a lost world.
And the sad fact is many church families forget this. They forget how truly foolish, and I think selfish, it is for them to fight over trivial things. They forget that this kind of childish, sinful behavior often drives lost people from Jesus. And it does! More than anything else, disunity costs us our credibility as Christians. Because, you see, there’s no reason for the world to believe Christians are from God if they act like the devil when they are together.
I think Paul Billheimer is right when he says,
“The continuous and widespread fragmentation of the Church has been the scandal of the ages. It has been Satan’s master strategy. The sin of disunity probably has caused more souls to be lost than all other sins combined.”
You see, people outside the family of God observe political infighting and ugly power struggles all the time, especially in this election year. They see the commercials where candidates sling mud at each other. They see disunity in the dog-eat-dog atmosphere at work each day, and it sickens them. Plus, these days, more and more people have come out of broken families where moms and dads and siblings fought and bickered and battled to the point where they are emotionally-bruised and all this makes people wonder, “Will I ever be able to find a group or a community that I can belong to where people come together and relate authentically? Will I ever be able to be a part of a community where people will shoot straight with one another, where they will resolve conflict by coming to one another and sitting down, trying to work it out?!”
People are crying out for a community of unified people who truly love one another. And, as I said, Christians can and need, and are called to be that kind of community. This is why in Jesus’ last prayer before His arrest and crucifixion, He first referred to the twelve and then to us and said,
“My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in Me through their message. [I pray] that all of them may be one Father, just as You are in Me and I am in You. May they also be in Us so that the world may believe that You have sent Me.”
In his book God’s Dream Team, Tommy Tenney writes that this is the only prayer that the Church has the ability to answer. Think about that…he’s right, isn’t he!? So-this is one reason that I use this text as my parting words each week. I’ve said the same verses over and over and over again to remind you how important church unity is! The Sweet Sweet Spirit that we enjoy here at Redland is indeed a wonderful thing, it brings tears to our eyes, but it is not a given. It’s not automatic. No. It must be cherished and protected if it is to continue. We dare not damage it for trivial, selfish reasons. We must obey texts like Ephesians 4:3 and “Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.”
Can you think of a time when you forgot this? Have you ever failed to let Christ “umpire” or “referee” a dispute with a spiritual brother or sister? Has your behavior ever damaged the peace of Christ in this church in some way? Has your flawed relational witness ever driven someone from Jesus? If you feel convicted, then as our pastor, I would encourage you to confess your sin to Jesus and to any offended church family member. Do whatever it takes but, make things right. Do all you can to protect this unity that both we and this lost world around us so desperately needs.
And then a second reason I use these same parting words each Sunday
(2) is to remind us that life works best when it is lived according to the principles and precepts of the Bible.
Look at verse 16 where it says, “Let the Word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom…”
I repeat these words each week to remind us that our sole source of authority in life is this book! We are to live by its teachings, .not the fickle feelings of experience, not the flawed tenets of human intellect, not the easily forgotten rationales behind tradition. No, this book is to be our guide in faith and practice. Since the words of this Book are not man’s, but God’s-since this is “truth without mixture of error”, we need to remember to use this book every day as God intended as a handbook for living the human life.
And, you know, the fact is we need the guidance of this book because we live in a time of increasing moral confusion, a dark time when it’s hard to see what is right. These days, sex outside of marriage is not only accepted, it is encouraged. Homosexuality is endorsed and even esteemed by our culture. Astrology and other occult practices are considered to be on the same level of acceptability as any faith system. I heard this week that the state of Georgia actually administers a test to people who want to practice astrology and issues state licenses just as they would to a doctor or a psychologist. Our schools are no longer safe. Gunmen kill children in both public and private schools seemingly every week! Whatever happened to the sanctity of human life, especially the life of a child!?
Well, God has not left us to grope around in the midst of all this moral murkiness. No. He has given us the Bible as a written guide to teach us what to believe and how to live. As Psalm 119:105 puts it, “Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.” This book shows us how to live in this fallen confusing world, and healthy churches made up of maturing Christians never forget that. Year after year, decade after decade, they hold this book of books up as their authority in faith and practice. They study it together. Their under-shepherds teach and preach from it.
George Barna has been studying Christians and the churches they attend for years. One of the focuses of his research has been an effort to determine if we practice what we preach. Unfortunately, he is finding that many churches don’t preach doctrine from the Bible, and therefore their members don’t live all that differently than the world. For example, Barna says his research shows that evangelicals divorce at about the same rate as the nation at large, and that only 9 percent of evangelicals tithe. His research shows that twenty-six percent of traditional evangelicals do not think premarital sex is wrong. It shows that white evangelicals are more likely than Catholics and mainline Protestants to object to having black neighbors.
Now, according to Mr. Barna’s definition, an “evangelial” is willing to say, “I have made a personal commitment to Jesus Christ that is still important in my life today.” In addition, Barna’s “evangelicals” agree with several other things like: Jesus lived a sinless life; eternal salvation is only through grace, not works. They believe Christians have a personal responsibility to evangelize non-Christians and that Satan exists. Mr. Barna says that 7 percent to 8 percent of the U.S. population is in this group. And as I said, they do not live very differently than the world around them.
But Mr. Barna has now developed a new set of criteria to define those within evangelicalism that have a “Biblical world view.” This group of evangelicals say that “the Bible is the moral standard” and “absolute moral truths exist and are conveyed through the Bible.” In addition, they believe that God is the all-knowing, all-powerful Creator Who still rules the universe. They believe that salvation cannot be earned by their deeds, and that the Bible is totally accurate in all it teaches. Unfortunately this group is significantly smaller than the broad evangelical group.
Now, for those who belittle Biblical doctrine as troublesome, it may come as a surprise that these Biblical worldview evangelicals do live differently from the world. Ronald Sider, in his new book, The Scandal of the Evangelical Conscience, describes the difference. He says that these “Biblical believers:”
- are 9 times more likely than all the others to avoid “adult-only” material on the Internet.
- are 4 times more likely than other Christians to boycott objectionable companies and products,
- and twice as likely to choose not to watch a movie specifically because of its bad content.
- They are 3 times more likely than other adults not to use tobacco products, and twice as likely to volunteer time to help needy people.
- Forty-nine percent of all born-again Christians with a BIBLICAL world view have volunteered more than an hour in the previous week to an organization serving the poor,
- whereas only 29 percent of those without a biblical worldview and only 22 percent of non-born-again Christians had done so.
Well, do these statistics help you to see why it is so important that we never neglect the study of this book? Do you begin to understand why God says in Deuteronomy 6:7 that we must impress the principles and precepts of this book “…on our children, and why we must talk about them when we sit at home and when we walk along the road, when we lie down and when we get up?” Do you see why if we are to make a difference in this fallen world…we must “let the Word of Christ dwell in us richly?”
Paul Powell writes,
“Many say the Bible is old fashioned. Well, so is the sun but without it men grope in darkness. So is the air but without it men gasp and die. So is water, but without it men go mad. In the midst of the complexities of life, don’t forget the Holy Bible. Believe it, read it, and heed it. It holds the key to life.”
This last week at our Men’s prayer breakfast, Don Mayberry shared his testimony. He told us that years ago as a young man in the navy he got involved in astrology and out of body experiences. He said he read lots of books and became an expert on the subject. One day while on duty he met young brand new Christian and this new believer said, “Don, I don’t know about astrology and out of body stuff…but I do know that I believe in the Bible. It’s my authority in life, so you read it and if you can find anything in there about out of body experiences and all that stuff then we’ll talk about it.” Well, Don accepted that challenge. He read this powerful book, and in the end he put aside astrology and new age teachings and became a Christian. This is indeed the Word Of Life so we must read it and study it and pattern our lives by its teachings.
Deitrich Bonhoeffer writes,
“Because I am a Christian, therefore, every day in which I do not penetrate more deeply into the knowledge of God’s Word in Holy Scripture is a lost day for me. I can only move forward with certainty upon the firm ground of the Word of God. And, as a Christian, I learn to know the Holy Scriptures in no other way than by hearing the Word preached and by prayerful meditation.”
So as long as this mouth functions, I’m going to teach from this book and preach from this book and every Sunday I’m going to remind you to, “…let the Word of Christ dwell in you richly!” And I’m also going to use my parting words to encourage you to do one more thing.
(3) …I’m going to use them to remind you that every day every Christian should be actively involved in ministry and mission.
Look at verse 17 once again. It says, “…whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of Christ.” In other words, disciples of Jesus are to be on mission every moment of every day. No deed is to be done, no word is to be spoken, unless it is in Jesus’ name, furthering His eternal purposes. And this is an important thing for us to remember as Christians, because living with this mind set is the most exciting, fulfilling way to live.
You know so many times we make the mistake of looking for meaning and joy in the things of this world and when we do we come up empty. King Solomon made this error. Remember? He looked for fulfillment in earthly pleasures and treasures and found that they did not satisfy. In Ecclesiastes 2:11 he said as much-he said, “There is nothing to be gained under the sun.” And I believe God included this cynical statement in His written Word to help us avoid Solomon’s mistake because meaning in life is not found under the sun but “above” it. God wants us to understand that we don’t find fulfillment in the things of this life, but rather in spending our days involved in things that impact the next life, the real life, eternity!
C. S. Lewis once said, “That which is not eternal is eternally obsolete” and he was so right! The way to find real joy is to look for ways to impact eternity with our every word and deed. The way to fulfillment is to do everything in Jesus’ name. Lee Strobel writes,
“I think if we were to ask Jesus what life is all about He would say, ‘If you put Me first, I can write an adventure story with your life, starring you and directed by Me. Your life will have drama and meaning and significance and comedy and laughter and tears, and directly and indirectly it will influence more people than you would ever imagine. And in the process of giving yourself away, I will fill you back up to overflowing. It will be the adventure of a lifetime.”
Thriving churches are full of members who understand this principle, But the reverse is true: a church that forgets this becomes weak and ineffective. George Barna says,
“Churches usually die from the inside out. Death is largely due to an inward focus, rather than an outward concern. Churches that grow focus on addressing the needs of the ‘have nots’ in the world, whether what they did not have was a relationship with Jesus Christ, physical health, emotional wholeness or other desired aspects. Growing churches were not content to let missions support simply relate to the giving of money.”
So you see, if we are going to grow as a church, every day every one of us must go. We must look at every aspect of life, deeds, and even words, as opportunities to impact the world around us with the love and grace of God.
Here at Redland we have come to understand that our motive for remembering all this, remembering to cherish and protect our unity as a church family, to study and live by the teachings of the Bible, to live life as one long mission trip– we are compelled to remember all these things by our experience with the grace of God. As I have said in the past, our theme verse is 2 Corinthians 5:14-15 where it says,
“Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all…And He died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for Him who died for them and was raised again.”
This experience compels us. Grace drives us to do all we do.
This morning as we close our service by singing of God’s grace, I encourage you to respond to it in any way that you feel compelled. Perhaps God is telling you to join this grace-driven church family. If so, come forward and tell me that as we sing. We’ll welcome you! Perhaps you have come to see your need for God’s grace and today you decide to give your heart and life to Jesus. If so, come share that wonderful decision with us. Or, perhaps you just want to pray where you are or come to the altar and thank God for Redland and re-commit yourself to live by the principles of these parting words we share each week. But come as the grace of God drives you. Come now as we sing.
BENEDICTION:
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly. And whatever you do, in word or in deed , do it all in the name of Christ, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.
AMEN