For the past eighteen years or so MOST of my personal worship has taken place right here in this room. Of course—that’s primarily because my job requires me to be here each Sunday. But this isn’t the only place I have experienced meaningful worship. For example:
- I’ve stood in a college auditorium at Centrifuge numerous times and watched as teens responded to a week of Bible study by committing their lives to Jesus.
- I’ve sat on the beach at Ocean Isle, North Carolina along with a couple hundred other vacationers and felt God’s presence as we sat on the sand singing Amazing Grace while sea gulls flew overhead and the breakers crashed a few yards to our left.
- I’ve perched on the top of a boulder on Old Rag mountain and looked out over a valley full of trees literally on fire with the colors of autumn and felt the awe of God’s creative power.
- I’ve stood beside hundreds of thousands of men on the national mall singing as only men can sing—literally rattling the windows of the Smithsonian museums with our praise.
- I’ve sat in a wooden shed with a small group of refugee women in Nairobi who worked for Amani Ya Ju—sharing their afternoon devotions praising God together simultaneously in several different languages.
- There have even been times when all alone in my car I worshiped God by singing along with a Calling Levi or a National Christian Choir CD.
But, in each of these various settings I’ve experienced true worship as I praised my Creator and Redeemer and offered myself to Him anew by praying words like these:
“God, take my life. Use it—there is no greater joy for me than being Your servant—so keep on using me in any way You want.”
In those times, I’ve felt God’s presence—and His love—I’ve experienced the peace that comes with communing with Him in an authentic way. And best of all, in each of these various times I’ve felt the assurance that the worship of my heart and the worship of my lips had given God delight..I’ve sensed His smile—I’ve felt He was pleased with my worship offering.
I’m sure each of you could share your own testimonies of the assorted ways you have experienced genuine worship. In fact, while we’re on the subject I would suggest that every Christian should try this at least once every twenty four hours. Stop wherever you are and yield yourselves to God in worship by saying, “Here I am Lord—wholly available—take my life and use it.”
Now—if you were here last week, then you know that this is the exact challenge that Paul gives all Christians in Romans 12:1-2. He says, “To show your love for God in a way that He will appreciate, make every day an offering of worship to Him. As you remember Who God is—and what He has done, is doing, and promises to do, crawl into the offering plate so to speak…and give your everyday life to Him.”
In the remaining five chapters of his letter to Rome, Paul fleshes this out by telling us practical ways that we can do this…ways we can make our every day lives an offering of worship to God.
For example, in verses 3-8 Paul says that crawling into the offering plate—making your life a worship offering to God…he said it involves discovering your spiritual gifts and using them faithfully in the ministries of a local church like Redland. When we do this—when we use the talents and gifts God has given us in the local church—God is delighted. Every time a believer uses his or her spiritual gift—
- …every time a TEACHER studies and prays and prepares and gives that Sunday School lesson…God says, “That’s worship!”
- Every time a person with the gift of HELPS, works at Habitat for Humanity or the Manna Food Bank or St. Martin’s Soup kitchen God says, “Thank you! That’s worship!”
- Every time a believer with the gift of FAITH says, “Redland! We can build that gym! I know it’s a lot of money but God will help us do that!”
- When that happens God says, “That’s worship!”
- Every time a believer uses the spiritual gift of HOSPITALITY to welcome a visitor and make him or her feel at home, God is pleased and says, “That’s worship!”
Every single time a believer uses a spiritual gift in the right spirit God says, “That’s worship! Thank you son! Thank you daughter! That’s as sweet to Me as when you all gather round and sing, ‘How Great Thou Art!’”
And—to follow up on last week a bit further…I would once again challenge you to discover YOUR spiritual gift. I would love to help you with that discovery. We have spiritual gifts tests you can take…we’d be glad to suggest some “just jump in” areas…we’d be happy to talk with you and pray with you about this—in short we’d be tickled pink to help you discover the place of service and ministry for which God has gifted you. But find out what your spiritual gift is because your every day worship will be incomplete until you use it!
You see, when a Christian understands how WIDE our worship needs to be—when they understand that it’s much more than what we do in this room each Sunday morning, when they understand all the diverse ways to give their life to God…well, then worship really starts to get fun!
This morning we’re going to move on to the next item on Paul’s list by looking at another way that God says He loves to receive worship namely the establishing and maintaining of RIGHT RELATIONSHIPS. And, make no doubt about it, right relationships are indeed a powerful form of adoration. Every time you relate to another human being in a God-glorifying way…it is like a sweet smelling fragrance that goes Heavenward. If that conversation—or that reconciliation—or that encouraging note you sent, was God-glorifying, He says, “That is wonderful worship! Thank you for it!” Getting relationships right is indeed another way we “crawl into the offering plate…” …and give our daily lives as a sacrifice of worship. With that in mind take your Bibles and turn to Romans 12 and listen as I read what Paul has to say in verses 9-21.
9 – Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.
10 – Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.
11 – Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.
12 – Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
13 – Share with God’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.
14 – Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.
15 – Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.
16 – Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.
17 – Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody.
18 – If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
19 – Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is Mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.
20 – On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”
21 – Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Paul knows full well that the church in Rome is made up of a diverse group of people. After all, Rome was the capital city of the entire empire. It was the hub of finance and culture and commerce and politics. In Paul’s day all roads really did lead to Rome! And, with all those roads feeding into that city from all over—well, it is no wonder that the church had all kinds of people: rich people and poor people, educated and uneducated people, not to mention a rainbow of races.
In fact it kind of reminds me of Redland! I mean, we have a much wider diversity here than most churches—and I’m so thankful that we do! In my mind, that is as it should be in a healthy, Biblical church because, “…in Christ there is no male or female, slave or free—all are ONE in Christ Jesus.” (Galatians 3:28)
In any case, there was a rich diversity at the church at Rome—and that’s wonderful—but it meant these church members had a thing or two to learn when it came to relating rightly. You see, every direction they looked they saw people who weren’t “normal” like them. Paul realized this and so in essence he said, “I know it can be a challenge for you to relate rightly to this diverse group of people who are sitting with you hearing my letter read—but listen! When you learn to really love…when you strive to establish and maintain right relationships…when you get your “one-anothering” right, God is going to be pleased and delighted and He’ll count it as acceptable and holy worship.”
Of course the truth is—it CAN be an effort for people to learn to get along with people who are different from them. I’m reminded of an old poem that goes like this:
“The whole world is festering with unhappy souls.
The French hate the Germans.
The Germans hate the Poles.
Italians hate Yugoslavs.
South Africans hate the Dutch.
And I don’t like anybody very much.”
Insert a verse about how Republicans and Democrats feel about each other and you have a pretty good picture of our world today. Even Christians struggle to get along a times. Perhaps you’ve heard this one:
“To dwell above with saints we love,
That will indeed be glory;
To dwell below with saints we know,
Well, that’s a different story!”
In verses 9-21 Paul says that we need to renew our minds when it comes to this aspect of life because one of the things we have to do to get WORSHIP right is get RELATIONSHIPS right. Worship that is pleasing and acceptable to God involves our learning to get along. Now—as we read through our text you probably noted that Paul lists numerous ways that we can relate rightly to one another…but we don’t have the time for me to explain every little phrase this morning.
So, instead we’re going to highlight FOUR foundational principles for building and developing right relationships that Paul mentions, four over-arching instructions that seem to summarize the basic thrust of this part of his letter.
And in order to MOTIVATE you to pay attention to these four principles, I must first point out that it is VERY important that we get this particular form of worship right. You see, right relationships is the number one thing that identifies us as Jesus’ followers. In John 13:35 our Lord said, “By this will all men know that you are My disciples—if you have love for one another.” In short, as Christians, we are to be known for the way we don’t conform to the world’s relational rules—known for the way we love.
And the fact is, all people YEAR to be loved. All people HUNGER for right relationships.
This is one thing that draws people to the church. This is one thing seekers come seeking!
A few years back the Associated Press did a survey of 39 different denominations in an attempt to identify the most important factor in church growth. They wanted to learn what it was that caused some churches to grow and others to die on the vine. Was it facility, worship style, denomination, location, or what? Their study showed that the main factor in a growing church was none of these things. It was simply an atmosphere of genuine Christlike love among the membership. And I would say that their research is valid….because I’ve see people get up early on a Sunday morning, get dressed and drive past 50 other churches….if they know that a warm loving experience awaits them at their church. People want friends who stick closer than a brother. These days the love many people get in church is the only love they experience all week long. So we have to get this one right. One of the main ways we share our faith—one of the main ways we point people to Jesus—is with RIGHT relationships—GODLY relationships.
Okay—let’s look now at Paul’s four over-arching principles. Here’s the first.
(1) If you’re going to worship to God with the way you interact, make sure your relationships are AUTHENTIC.
As it says in verse 9, “Love must be SINCERE…be devoted to one another in brotherly love.”
Now, it’s been a while since we did any “Greek” study—and we need to in order to really understand this point—so here goes. The Greek word that we translate “sincere” is “anupokritos.” This is where we get our word “hypocrite” and it literally means “without mask…” referring to the way that actors in the Greek theater would carry tragic, comic, or melodramatic masks to signal the role they were playing. Well, when Paul tells us that love is to be “sincere” in verse 9 he is saying that when we love we are not to play a role but rather are to be genuine. In other words we are to get off the stage and drop our masks. We are to be REAL with each other. We are to show each other our “true” faces. This is the kind of relationship that pleases God.
We once knew a woman who wore a lot of make-up. Don’t get me wrong, she wasn’t putting on airs. She wasn’t vain. She was a genuinely wonderful person. Maybe she thought she looked bad without it or maybe she had a relative who worked for Mary Kay. I don’t know. But it was obvious she used a lot of make-up. Well, one of the more embarrassing parental memories we have is when Daniel was about 5 and he walked up to this sweet made-up woman one day and said, “You look like a clown!” He wasn’t being critical or mean—it was just that, in his mind a clown was someone who wore a lot of make-up and he could see that she did so he just came out shared his observation. Kids are honest aren’t they! They don’t hide their feelings or opinions! They tell you exactly what they think! Well, no sooner had these words popped out of our son’s mouth, than Sue and I started to fall all over ourselves apologizing but this gracious woman stopped us and said, “Daniel, you are right. I do wear too much make-up.” And she gave him a big hug—and us a big smile as if to say, “Don’t worry about it!”
Now—as I said, this woman was a very genuine person—she was one of our favorite people but I thought of her as I studied this verse because the in a sense many of us—male and female alike—do indeed wear too much “make-up…” in that we pretend to be something we’re not. We hide our real faces by covering up our flaws or our fears…we hide our problems and pain. So often we pretend with each other—and Paul says we can’t give glory to God through relationships if we do that kind of thing. We can’t send a sweet smelling fragrance Heavenward if our relationships are filled with the stink of pretense. We must get rid of all of our pseudo relationships, root out the deceit, and stop playing relational games. We have to take off the masks we tend to wear and get real with one another.
God won’t accept fake relationships as acceptable worship. He wants us to do the hard work of talking together…trying to understand one another…accepting and appreciating our differences, sharing our real problems and pains. The kind of relationships that please God are authentic. They are “maskless” — no concealing, no hiding. You see, God commands us to love one another and to REALLY love one another we have to be honest—REAL—with each other.
Well, let me stop at this point and ask—what’s YOUR mask? What kind of make-up do you use? To help you with your answer here’s some examples.
- Some of us hide behind masks of superficial conversation. We make lots of small talk and may even be quite good at it. We talk freely about the weather or work or our favorite team. But our words are a mask. We’re hiding what is in our hearts.
- Some of us hide behind humor. We have a great gift for making people laugh. But when the conversation gets tense or sad or a little too personal, we find some way to make a joke. We hide behind a smiling face.
- Some hide behind the mask of intelligence.
- Others use ignorance.
- Some mask themselves with busy-ness.
- In the church many mask themselves with spirituality. They quote Bible verses or speak of “having deep peace” or of “God being in control…” when the truth is inside they are terrified because they feel like their lives are out of control!
Well, which of these is your mask? What is it that keeps you from the deep authentic fellowship with other believers that we all crave? John Ortberg issues this warning, “If you wear a mask…if you get really good at figuring out what other people want and then delivering it, you perfect the art of projecting the right kid of image…you may impress some people, but you won’t make friends. You see the irony is, we are all drawn to people who don’t wear masks. We can’t be fully loved until we are fully known.”
This is one reason it is so much fun to be around children. Wouldn’t you agree?! I mean, they are real. They haven’t learned to wear masks! If they hear the ice cream truck coming or if they are told they have to eat their Brussel sprouts or if they think there’s a monster under the bed, their faces tell you exactly what’s in their hearts. It’s only when we get older that we learn to wear masks: to look confident when our hearts are scared, to look pious when our hearts are full of temptation or guilt. We may admire adults who learn to wear masks like these but as Ortberg said, we’re not drawn to them….no we’re drawn to people who, like our children, don’t wear masks. We’re drawn to REAL people. You see, for us to have REAL fellowship we need to be REAL-we need to put down our masks and be like the church in Jerusalem where members, “…met with glad and SINCERE hearts.”
That’s one thing that makes church fellowship so strong—so important to its members. You see, this is a place where we CAN be real with each other…GENUINE with each other and because it is…it’s a place we can experience genuine love.
Well, as I said, this is the kind of relationship that pleases God.
(2) A second relational principle Paul shares is this. He says we must make sure our love expresses itself in PRACTICAL forms of service to others.
Look at verses 13, 15 & 16, “Share with God’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.” Paul is emphasizing the point that relationships flourish when love is EXPRESSED and not just felt. He’s pointing out the fact that we must do more than SAY we love each other…we must also SHOW our love in some tangible recognizable way. We have to put feet to our feelings—for God to be pleased. 1 John 3:17-19 says, “If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and truth.”
I don’t know about you, but I have felt loved MOST, when someone saw I had a need and then didn’t just pat me on the back but acted to meet my need…whether it was to give me a good book to read while I convalesced from surgery…or to drop me an encouraging note via snail or e-mail…or help me fix my landscaping by pitching in and working with me to dig up old shrubs and plant new ones…or to come over and help me hang a new awning over my deck…or to help us with a recent wedding rehearsal dinner. When people did these kinds of tangible things—I literally FELT genuinely loved—and Paul would say that God felt genuinely worshiped.
Do you know what I’m talking about? I mean—don’t YOU feel loved when people ACT like they love you in some tangible way? Sure you do! So, when you see someone in need—help them. God loves it when we do this! He sees that kind of thing as an offering of worship that is pleasing and acceptable. I mean, every time you work at the Habitat project in Burtonsville…every time you go on mission trips to New Orleans or collect medical supplies for the Dominican Republic trip…every time you work at the Manna Food bank or St. Martin’s Soup kitchen…every time you visit a shut in…every time you practice hospitality…every time you send a card….every time you help someone in need in a tangible way God says, “That’s worship! Thank you for it!”
(3) Here’s Paul’s third over-arching principle. He says we must try and RECONCILE when a relationship breaks down.
Look at verses 16 and 18, “Live in harmony with one another. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”
Peter Drucker writes,“Whenever two objects rub together it produces friction and in any organization—including a church—you’re going to have friction.” And Drucker is right. Relational bumps and bruises and break downs are inevitable even in the church. We are going to disagree. Like two porcupines dancing cheek to cheek, we’re going to hurt each other from time to time. And Paul says when you strive to heal those hurts and correct those misunderstandings that is pleasing to God. When, if at all possible as far as it depends on you—you live at peace—then God is pleased and says, “That’s worship!”
Well, how DO we resolve conflict in a worshipful way? I’m glad you asked because Jesus gives us a very specific answer to that question. In Matthew 18:15 He says, “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you.” In other words Jesus says when you face the inevitable relational bumps of life—even church life—when a friend or family member or choir member or pastor…whenever anyone wrongs you or hurts your feelings….GO to that person. Don’t let resentment fester. GO and TELL them how you feel about what they did or did not do!
Now—if the truth be told we usually don’t want to GO and TELL—we prefer to STAY and STEW. But we must remember Jesus’ command. We must remember that avoidance kills community. It causes resentment to fester inside you. Another thing we must note is that—Jesus says go to the PERSON who wronged you—not to someone else. Again—this is not our natural tendency. We prefer to go to others. We like telling others how we’ve been wronged. We feel justified in gossip and slander if it allows us to tell how we have been mistreated. So we go to others—because we want to build a coalition of people who think as we do about this person who wronged us. We want to start sort of an anti-fan club. But Jesus says NO…we are to go to the person with whom we have the relational issue and only to that person. Do you remember when Paul wrote the church in Philippians and in his letter he said, “I plead with Euodia and Syntyche to agree with each other in the Lord.” (Philippians 4:2) Obviously these two women had an argument of some sort brewing. They were locked in a conflict that had become public…so public even Paul had heard about it…and these were the days before e-mail!
Now, we don’t know what the issue was between these two women—maybe it was a dispute over who had the weirdest first name. I don’t know. But please note that Paul doesn’t say, “Euodia, go and talk to other people in the church about how unfair Syntyche is being with you. Thoroughly discuss her character flaws and neuroses so that others can pray for her more intelligently.” He doesn’t say, “Syntyche, let three or four of your close friends know how Euodia has mistreated you so they can reinforce your self-righteous sense of martyrdom.” No—instead Paul strongly asks them to resolve their conflict by going to each other. You see, conflict spreads and community dies when we talk about our relational issues with someone else instead of obeying Jesus and going directly to the person involved. Doing anything else is sin—we have to do all we can as far as it depends on us—to preserve peace and unity—because we can’t offer God WORSHIP that is pleasing and acceptable until we do. Do you remember Jesus’ words in Matthew 5:23? He said,“If you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the alter. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.”
(4) Here’s Paul’s final over-arching principle of right relationships. Make sure you steer clear of seeking REVENGE when you are WRONGED.
Look at verses 17 and following: “Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is Mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”
Now—this is a toughie because when we are wronged our old nature shouts the thing to do! I mean everything in us says that when we are wronged…when we are mistreated…we must find a way to GET EVEN! When someone cuts us off in traffic there’s this inner urge to catch up with them an stare at them. When someone blinds you with their high beams, we let them pass, then we “high beam” them right back! Some people even justify this by saying giving as good as we got is scriptural. They quote Luke 6:38 where Jesus said, “Give and it will be given to you.” Of course, when we do this we are taking Jesus’ words out of context! Paul says resist the urge to strike back. Let God deal with that person. He also says that when we refuse to get revenge—when we refuse to get back at the person who wronged us—when we feed our enemies….it’s like heaping hot coals on their heads.
Now—for years I used to think—well that sounds pretty good to me. Someone hurts me—I respond by being nice to them and the result is they feel pain for what they did. It’s like their hair is on fire! Well—that’s not exactly what Paul is talking about. You see, in his day if the fire in your stove when out and you wanted to light a fire, you would borrow some smoldering coals from your neighbor. You’d take a fireproof earthen jar and your neighbor would put coals in it. Then you’d put a cloth pad on top of your head and steady the jar atop the pad and carry it home. So heaping burning coals on someone’s head is a doing a good thing. Paul’s just giving us another example of how we can overcome evil with good. The fact is, when we respond like this to our enemies—when we help instead of hurt—well, many times it causes them to repent—but even if it doesn’t, we need to understand that when we are wronged—we are not to respond in kind. We are to let God deal with that person who hurt us.
This week as I studied I came across a story that took place in the 1930s at the height of the depression to a family named Jansen. They were share-croppers who lost their farm. When this happened a friend told them of another farm that was available for share cropping…but he warned them that it was directly across from a farm operated by a mean man named Jud Brewster. The friend said that the farm was vacant because no one wanted to live next to this Brewster guy. Well, farmer Jansen pushed aside these warnings and said, “Brewster will be no problem. I’ll just kill him.” and with that he moved his family in. One week later, Farmer Brewster appeared at their door in a rage. He said that their chickens were bothering him, and he threatened to kill them. So the Jansen family locked the chickens up in the henhouse. There was peace for a while and then Brewster showed up again. He said, “Jansen, your pigs have been in my garden. They’ll never get in my garden again!” There, in Brewster’s wagon, was their herd of young pigs, all dead. He had shot each of them. Without saying a word, Mr. Jansen buried the pigs. A few weeks later one of the Jansen boys came rushing into the house saying, “Daddy, go get a gun quick. Jud Brewster’s pigs are in our garden!” The kids could already taste revenge. The father replied, “We won’t need a gun. Just round up the pigs.” After a lot of trouble getting them in the wagon, they headed over to Brewster’s farm. Jansen knocked on the door and said
“Good evening, Mr. Brewster. Your pigs have been in my garden. I’ve brought them back.”
The color drained from Brewster’s face, “My pigs, my pigs were in your garden?” Jansen said, “That’s right. Where do you want us to put them?” Brewster’s body sagged against the door and he said, “Just dump them over behind the barn.” Jansen replied with a slight grin, “OK, but they’ll just get out again.” When it had sunk in Jansen had not killed the pigs, Brewster clutched his hand like a dying man. They talked for a long time. Brewster even gave Jansen half his pigs to keep, and on Sunday he came to church. From that point on, he was a changed man. Later one of Farmer Jansen’s sons asked him what he had meant when he said he would kill Brewster back when they first moved in to the farm next to him. He replied, “I didn’t plan on killing him with a gun. I planned to do it another way – by heaping coals on his head. That old neighbor is as dead as a doornail, just like I said he’d be. And we’re glad to be alive to see it.”
Let me ask—how are you doing when it comes to your “relational worship?” Is God pleased with your interactions? Are you being REAL—AUTHENTIC these days—or are you more of a mask-wearer? Do you put feet to your feelings? Is your love for others an “action sort of love?”
And…how are you doing when it comes to resolving the inevitable conflicts of life? Are you trying to heal relational wounds or are you spending your time trying to wound people who wound you? You know—I’ve been thinking that for some reason God has led His teachers and His pastor here at Redland to emphasize Biblical truth about our relationships this week. Wednesday our study of What’s So Amazing About Grace focused on the importance of forgiveness. This weekend over at Camp Bennett 30 of our women had a retreat in which Beth Moore taught them how to love well. And then of course we’ve just heard a sermon on right relationships. Well, God wouldn’t lead us to all this subject over and over and over again unless someone needed to hear it…could that someone be you?
LET US PRAY