A few hours before a church’s annual Children’s Christmas Pageant was to begin, a worried mother called the church office. She reported that her little son, who was to play the part of JOSEPH that night, was sick with the flu, and could not be there for the performance. Well, something had to be done. It was too late to find another Joseph and the pageant could not be postponed—so the directors came up with an interesting SOLUTION. They decided to just write Joseph out of the script altogether—and believe it or not, their plan worked. That night, only a few who saw the play realized that the cast was incomplete. Most of the hundreds of people in the audience didn’t even miss poor Joseph.
And I can understand how that would happen because there is a sense in which Joseph doesn’t SEEM to be all that important to the Christmas event. I mean, think about it:
- We certainly couldn’t have Christmas without MARY or the BABY JESUS.
- Nor would the story be complete without the message-delivering and praise-singing ANGELS.
- If we didn’t have the curious SHEPHERDS and the majestic WISE MEN showing up the plot would just not be the same.
But JOSEPH—Joseph is another matter. I mean, who really needs HIM? What did he contribute to the Christmas event that couldn’t just as easily have been done by another? After all, he never really SAYS much—and unlike Zechariah he was not stricken MUTE. Yet the Bible doesn’t contain a single word that Joseph spoke—even though he was present for the birth of the Son of God. You’d think he could have come up with SOMETHING to say worth recording! But he doesn’t—so in our mind’s eyes he just stands silently behind Mary while she does all the work.
Another factor that adds to our thinking of Joseph as sort of a 5th wheel at Christmas is the fact that we KNOW VERY LITTLE about him.He IS mentioned briefly in the Gospels of Matthew, Luke, and John. But they don’t say much about Joseph and what IS said is primarily in those passages in Matthew that trace his ANCESTRY.Those particular verses tell us that:
- He was a descendant of David,
- was from the town of Bethlehem,
- and that His father’s name was Jacob.
We can infer from the other few verses in the Bible that concern Joseph—
- that at some point in his life, he must have migrated north from Bethlehem to establish his work in the little hill down of Nazareth.
- We also know that Joseph’s work—his trade—was that of a carpenter, because when Jesus began His ministry and preached at the synagogue in Nazareth, the people were amazed and asked, “Is this not the CARPENTER’S son?” (Matthew 13:55)
Now—the Greek word used here for “carpenter” is “tekton”and in that day it referred to a person who worked with his hands: with wood, stone, and other materials. So probably Joseph was just a simple skilled laborer—someone who worked hard for his meager living. Perhaps he was known as a “fix-it” man around Nazareth. Of course the Bible of DOES tell us that at some point in his life Joseph met a young girl named “Mary” and they were betrothed and married and eventually established a home in Nazareth. In Matthew 13:55, we discover that there were OTHER children in this family than Jesus. Four brothers are mentioned: James, Joseph, Judas, and Simon. The Bible also says that there were some “sisters.” We don’t know their names but since the word is plural we of course know there were two—possibly more. So, in Joseph’s family there were at least SEVEN children, including JESUS which means it was no doubt a very busy place with the hustle and bustle of all those kids running around!
We can also deduce that theirs was an impoverished home for when Luke 2:24 says Joseph and Mary dedicated the baby Jesus at the temple, they offered a pair of doves as a sacrifice. And this was the only acceptable sacrifice that a poor person could afford. Luke 2:41-52 tells us that Joseph was alive when Jesus, at the age of 12, traveled with his family to Jerusalem for the Passover. In the verses that chronicle this rare excerpt from Joseph’s life we learn that he shared the concern of Mary when they had gone a day’s journey—and suddenly realized that Jesus was not with them. Now—this doesn’t mean that Joseph and Mary were bad parents. They apparently thought He was with other family members in the caravan—cousins or second cousins—and because of this error they accidentally left Him in the city of Jerusalem.
You and I know how that can happen even at a church our size. Many of us come in two cars and one parent thinks the other parent has the child. Then we get home and—well, this caused us to leave BECCA here once when she was little. Sue even left me here a twice a few years back! Fortunately I was able to find my way home each time. In any case, losing Jesus would have been easy to do in a huge, crowded temple like the one in Jerusalem—especially if you had several other SMALL children to look after.
Well, by the time Jesus began His earthly ministry at the age of 30, Joseph doesn’t seem to be around anymore. Church tradition says he died early—maybe not too long after the incident in Jerusalem. Perhaps one of the reasons Jesus stayed around the carpenter shop and didn’t start His ministry until He was 30 was to assist His mother with the rearing of the other children—and to keep food on the table until one of the other boys was old enough to do so.
But when Jesus became 30 years of age, God’s CLOCK struck and Jesus responded to the hour and began His life work—which the Bible said was, “to seek and to save that which was lost.”
John chapter 2 tells us that one of the first things He did was perform a miracle at the wedding in Cana of Galilee. And, Mary was there but Joseph was not. So, that’s pretty much all the biographical details that the Bible gives us about the life of Joseph. Of course, there is ONE other scene from his life included in the Bible and I have deliberately saved that—the MOST IMPORTANT Scriptural information we have about Joseph—until now. It’s recorded in our text for today, Matthew 1:18-25. Take your Bibles and let’s read this familiar portion of the Great ADVENT-ure.
18 – This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit.
19 – Because Joseph, her husband, was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.
20 – But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.
21 – She will give birth to a Son, and you are to give Him the name Jesus, because He will save His people from their sins.”
22 – All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet:
23 – “The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a Son and they will call Him ‘Immanuel’—which means, ‘God with us.’”
24 – When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife.
25 – But he had no union with her until she gave birth to a Son. And he gave Him the name Jesus.
Okay—this, the MAIN TEXT we have concerning the life of Joseph, tells us the role this quiet carpenter played in the Christmas story and. contrary to popular opinion, it was a MAJOR one.
Let’s look closely at it this morning. Verse 18 says that Joseph was “betrothed” and remember, as I told you last week, betrothal or “kiddushin,” as the Jews called it, was far more formal and binding than our engagement. Plus, romance and courtship didn’t play a LARGE role back then. Most marriages were arranged by the parents of the couple. However, bride and groom were not simply thrown at each other in a loveless match. Directly or indirectly, their comments and conduct often alerted their parents as to which family to contact, and so love was a factor in many of the arranged marriages of the day. Here’s what probably happened. One day, Joseph asked his parents if he could marry that village girl who was his distant relative—Mary. They discussed it among themselves before giving him an answer—carefully appraising Mary’s parentage, ancestry, and resources. Then Joseph’s father paid a call on Mary’s parents, who would ACT duly surprised as the purpose of the visit grew plain. You see, MARY’s random comments about the young carpenter had all but shouted her interest in HIM, and so the discussion began in earnest.
Finally, the fathers agreed to a marriage contract between their children. Joseph was then brought before Mary, and with family and friends looking on, their parents uttered a formal benediction over them as they tasted a cup of wine together. After this they were considered officially “betrothed.” As I said last week this betrothal period lasted a year and one of the things they did during this time was to search the temple records in Jerusalem, because it would have been possible in a country as compact as Israel for near relatives to marry without even knowing it.
The event we’re looking at this morning took place during the time Joseph and Mary were betrothed—during their KIDDUSHIN. They were no doubt a happy couple, excited about the future. They were making plans—ready to face the world together. I’m sure Mary and Joseph were spending a great deal of time together—talking about where they would live and how they would they manage on his small income. They also talked about the wedding, what they would wear, who would be in the wedding party, and which guests would be invited—all the things a couple talk about even today as they plan for their marriage.
But, one day during this betrothal period, Mary announced she was going to take a trip south to the hill country outside Jerusalem, to visit her elderly cousin, Elizabeth. Her visit stretched into a three-month stay. Joseph must have missed her terribly. When she returned home at last, he was no doubt very glad to see her. You remember what it is like to be separated from your true love.
Well, now that separation was over! They were together again! But, then came a sudden shock—a devastating discovery. As Matthew puts it, Mary, “was FOUND to be with child.” This wasn’t Joseph’s baby and he knew it so instantly THEIR dreams turned into HIS nightmares.
Think of how he must have felt. He had been working hard, preparing for their life together. Now he was faced with what from his perspective could only looked like unfaithfulness on her part. Mary had of course told him about a visiting angel, and how this would be a special child. But not only was her story unbelievable—for a pious Jew like Joseph it bordered on blasphemy.
This news also meant Joseph’s reputation would be destroyed—so I’m sure that he was more than hurt. He was ANGRY. What kind of fool did Mary take Him for? To claim that she was pregnant but still a virgin?! NOW—Let’s pause here to acknowledge the fact that the Bible CLEARLY teaches that Mary WAS a virgin at the time of Jesus’ birth. In his Gospel MATTHEW is careful to point out that, although they lived together after their marriage, they did not enter into sexual union until after Jesus’ birth. LUKE also affirms that Mary was a virgin at the time of Jesus’ birth—echoing the prophesy of Isaiah, which had said, “Behold a VIRGIN shall conceive.” Three times in Luke’s first chapter Mary herself says she was a virgin—so, in spite of what some people say, there is no lack of clarity on this issue. I mean, there are no alternative translations of the Greek word used in this passage. Mary was pure and chaste, having never known any man sexually. The Bible is definite about that. Remember—Luke was a doctor and everything in his training would lead him to doubt such a story. To record it would subject him to criticism by his colleagues. Yet having traced all things accurately, Luke was so convinced of its truth—that he boldly and beautifully penned the most complete account of the virgin birth both historically and scientifically. By the way, did you ever wonder where Luke got his information? It could only have come from Mary herself—and to whom would a woman speak more frankly and in greater detail about the birth of her child than to a physician like Luke!
Okay, back to Joseph’s story. He had AS HARD A TIME understanding the virgin birth as many people today do. Mary told him her elderly cousin was going to have a miraculous baby too—though not in exactly the same circumstance. But Joseph couldn’t believe her. How COULD he accept such a story? Would you if you were in his circumstance? No—I think not. He came to the same conclusion you and I would have. Mary had committed adultery. Well, Joseph no doubt endured restless days and sleepless nights trying to decide what to do. If they had been living in Moses’ day that decision would have been taken from him. As I said last week, Mary would probably have been immediately stoned to death. But the laxness of the Jewish theocracy in Joseph’s day and the infiltration of Roman law gave him two other options.
First, he could make her a public example—charge her with adultery in a public court. She would be shamed, brought to trial, convicted in front of everyone, ruined forever in terms of reputation. Or, he could quietly, before two or three witnesses, write out a bill of divorce and end their relationship. There would be no fanfare. Nobody would need know. Mary could simply go away somewhere and secretly bear and raise the child.
Well Matthew 1:19 tells us that Joseph was a righteous man—a just man—and as such he concluded that Mary DESERVED to be divorced. After all, that’s what the Jewish law said. But guilty or not, Joseph still LOVED Mary. And he was also a man of MERCY. So, the Scripture tells us that his final gift of love to her was to do take OPTION 2 and end their betrothal discreetly. As verse 19 says, “He did not want to expose her to public disgrace so he had in mind to divorce her quietly.” And—he would have followed through with that plan had it not been for a message delivered by the angel Gabriel who appeared to Joseph in a dream. In this miraculous manner Joseph learned that Mary had been telling the truth. And you know the wonderful events that happened from then on as God’s Great ADVENT-ure unfolded.
But I want us to back up and be sure to note that in Joseph’s part of this event we see a man who endured a great heartbreak but came out of it on top. This should make us pay attention to his role in the Christmas story because you and I deal with heartbreaks all the time. We face difficult situations that are unfair to us—things we don’t understand. So—I think we can learn some important principles in the way Joseph handled this kind of situation. I mean, he may not have SAID much as the Christmas event occurred—but he DID three very important things—three things that you and I should do when we face the inevitable difficulties of life.
(1) First of all Joseph PRAYED.
Verse 20 infers that after Mary had shared her unbelievable news Joseph went away and, “considered” all she had said. But that translation doesn’t quite catch the full meaning of what took place because the Greek word used here literally means “to ponder” or more accurately, “to meditate on.” So the idea conveyed in this verse is that Joseph prayed. He went off alone and thought about what had happened and his thoughts gave birth to prayers as he poured his heart out to God. Picture him as he climbed the hills around Nazareth—a solitary figure—crying to the God he had faithfully served all his life, seeking wisdom to deal with his heartbreaking problem.
Have you ever done that in time of hardship—just gone somewhere and got honest with God—told Him of your pain—your anguish—then got on your knees and asked for His help? I know that I have—and every time—EVERY SINGLE TIME—I have felt God’s comforting presence—perhaps His angels ministering to me invisibly. I have never left a prayer time like that in which I was absolutely honest with God without feeling better—without knowing what God wanted me to do—how He wanted me to respond—knowing He would be with me and help me—and in that knowledge experiencing PEACE. This is because the simple truth is that PRAYER CHANGES THINGS! In life when it looks like everything is against us—when we feel overwhelmed—when it looks like it’s the end and our dreams are crashing down around us—prayer actually changes the whole situation—because prayer unleashes God’s power.
This power may come in the form of wisdom—an idea you desperately need and can’t come up with yourself. It may come in the form of courage greater than you can muster. It may come in the form of confidence or perseverance, uncommon staying power, or a changed attitude—or maybe even in the form of an outright miracle—but prayer DOES change things! I’m reminded of a miraculous even that happened back in May of 2013. At 4:30 A.M. the Jascon 4, one of three tugboats towing an oil freighter off the coast of Nigeria, started to sink. Harrison Odjegba Okene, the tugboat’s 29-year-old cook, immediately knew something was wrong but as the tug sank he was unable to get out. As the vessel descended 100 feet to the floor of the Atlantic Ocean upside down, Okene was tossed to and fro in his small quarters. He groped his way in the pitch darkness through the icy waters, finally finding a cabin with a four foot air pocket. He made a make-shift platform and stacked two mattresses together in his attempt to escape the rising water. Dressed only in his boxer shorts, Okene sat on the mattresses and waited for help. But the thought of being rescued seemed remote. So Okene, a follower of Jesus, started to pray the Psalms: “Oh, God, by Your name, save me,” and “The Lord sustains my life.” Okene told reporters, “I started calling on the name of God—reminiscing on the verses I read before I slept. I read the Bible from Psalms 54 to 92. My wife had sent me the verses to read that night when she called me before I went to bed.” Three days later, Okene was certain the rest of the eleven man crew had drowned and that he would also drown. Then he heard the sound of rescuers and started banging on the steel walls of his cabin with a hammer. The Dutch divers who found him couldn’t believe their eyes. As they reached out for a hand of a man they assumed was dead, the hand grabbed theirs. To this day, Okene believes his rescue after 72 hours underwater was the result of divine deliverance. He told a Nigerian newspaper, “The rest of my life is not enough to thank God for this wonder. It is incredible.”
This is great example of the fact that prayer does changes things—but you know, one of the most important “things” prayer changes is US. Richard Foster writes, “To pray is to change. This is a great grace. How good of God to provide a path whereby our lives can be taken over by love and joy and peace and patience and kindness and goodness and self-control.” Prayer changes the pray-ER as nothing else can. You see, as we pray we are drawn into the love of God and we begin to see people from His perspective and love them as He does. Prayer provides a perspective on life that we cannot find in any other way.
So—when you face heartbreak as Joseph did, the very FIRST THING you must do is PRAY.
As Philippians 4:6 says, “Do not be anxious about anything but by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God and the peace of God will be yours.” This is what Joseph did and it is no doubt what led to his second response to Mary’s heart-breaking news.
(2) Joseph FORGAVE.
He replaced his own anger-fueled self-pity with compassion for Mary. Now—of course Mary was NOT guilty of any wrongdoing but from Joseph’s perspective he felt she WAS and that as such he had every RIGHT to be angry and hurt. As far as he knew at that point in the story he had been betrayed by Mary’s unfaithfulness to their betrothal vows. And—when you and I are hurt by others—especially those we love and trust—usually our first impulse is to hurt back. When we are humiliated, we want to humiliate in return. That would have been a natural thing for Joseph to do. MANY men would have exposed Mary to public disgrace and written her off at this point. But Joseph was a man of compassion and mercy and he refused to explode in vindictive rage. Guilty or not, Joseph loved Mary so he forgave her and rather than seek revenge by exposing her to public disgrace. As it says in verse 19 he made up his mind, “to divorce her quietly.”
This is a good example for us to follow because forgiveness not only benefits the forgiven person; it benefits the FORGIVER as well. In his book Forgive and Forget, Lewis Smeades tells the story of Jane and Ralph. After this couple had reared their three children, it appeared Jane was going to have a life of her own. But tragedy struck. Ralph’s younger brother and sister-in-law were killed in an automobile accident, which instantly orphaned their three children, ages 8, 10, and 12. Ralph felt it was his duty to take the children in. And Jane was either too compassionate or too tired to disagree—she never did know which. It fell to her to do most of the parenting since Ralph was gone a lot, traveling for his company. Nine years later, with the second crop of children gone, Jane thought that at last she was home free. Now by this time Jane’s body had gotten a little lumpy and frumpy while Ralph’s secretary, Janice, was a real dazzler. Besides, Janice really understood Ralph’s large ego needs. So Ralph divorced Jane and married Janice. After all, in his way of thinking, he had fallen in love. He couldn’t help it. Ralph and Janice were happy and they found a church which celebrated their new found joy with them. However, ONE THING was lacking to make Ralph’s happiness complete. He needed Jane’s blessing and forgiveness. So Ralph said to her,“Please forgive me and bless me.” But Jane was so filled with bitterness and resentment that she refused. That response would be natural—but Jane couldn’t live with it and she went to Dr. Smeades to ask him for his help and advice. “How can I ever forgive Ralph?” she asked. Smeades replied, “Do you want to be stuck forever with his awful behavior? If you can’t forgive you are doomed to be shackled to the unfairness of the past. In fact, your unfairness is multiplied. Forgiveness is the only way to heal yourself.”
Let me read you an excerpt from Smeades’ book: “Forgiving is the only way to be fair to yourself. Getting even is a loser’s game. It’s the ultimate frustration because it leaves you with more pain than you had in the first place. The only way to heal the pain that will not heal itself, is to forgive the person who hurt you. Forgiving stops the reruns of pain. When you release the wrongdoer from the wrong, you cut a malignant tumor out of your inner life. The first and often the only person to be healed by forgiveness is the person who does the forgiving. When we genuinely forgive, we set a prisoner free and then we discover that the real prisoner was us.”
When we’re hurt by others, we must forgive if we are ever to have peace and healing. Joseph’s own healing began when he quit feeling sorry for himself and started feeling sorry for Mary. Light broke through when he looked beyond himself to the needs of his betrothed and forgave.
It was at this point that the most amazing thing in Joseph’s quiet life occurred. As I said earlier, the angel Gabriel appeared to him in a dream and told him that Mary’s story was true. Her child WAS indeed the Son of God—the long-awaited Messiah. In fact, His name had already been chosen. Joseph was to call him, “‘Jesus,’ for He would save His people from their sins.” He would also be called, “Emmanuel—God with us.” Well, can you imagine how Joseph felt when he woke up from that dream? I mean talk about a GOOD night’s sleep! What a load must have lifted from his shoulders! What pressure was taken off! Suddenly his crumbled world was refashioned. His DOUBTS had become God’s CERTAINTIES. His HURTS had been healed and his suspicions were replaced by trust. The burden was gone. So when he woke up, Joseph did a third thing.
(3) Joseph OBEYED.
Like his betrothed, he listened to God’s Word and obeyed it. He didn’t understand everything that was going on but he did understand one thing. God could be trusted—so he obeyed. By the way Matthew refers to Joseph as a “righteous man” but in Hebrew he would have been called a “tsaddiyq” (sawd-deek). This word was reserved for someone who was known for his uncompromising obedience to the law of Moses so Joseph was someone known to obey God in all things. And as verse 24 says, that’s what he did. Joseph “did what the angel of the Lord had commanded Him and took Mary home to be his wife.” In a great act of obedience to God, Joseph did this, even though the tongues must have wagged in Nazareth, as people continued to talk about Mary who became pregnant before the formal marriage. Understand—common sense had told him NOT to believe her. Self-defense told him NOT to do it. Convenience told him NOT to do it. Pride told him NOT to do it. But God told him TO do it. And Joseph obeyed. It was tough:
- He took cold showers for six months so the baby could be born to a virgin.
- He had to push away the sheep and clear out the cow patties so Mary would have a place to give birth.
- He became a fugitive of the law—spending two years trying to understand Egyptian after they had to flee Bethlehem to avoid Herod’s murderous troops.
I’m saying it wasn’t EASY to obey this command of God. I mean think about it—the MESSIAH was raised in his home. Joseph was one of the first people since Adam and Eve to literally experience, “Immanuel—God with us.” Can you imagine some of the questions that must have gone through his mind over the years?
- Wouldn’t it have been awkward to read the first few chapters of Genesis to the little boy Jesus—those verses which chronicled how HE had created the world?
- Did it ever occur to Joseph that the God to Whom he was praying was asleep in the next room?
- And, when they said grace before a meal did Joseph look up from his prayer to see Jesus listening?
- How did Joseph feel when he took his young family to the temple and they watched a lamb be slaughtered as a sacrifice for their sins?
I’m sure it was awkward raising the Son of God. But you can be sure of one thing. Joseph never regretted it. Sweet was the reward for his courage and obedience. One look in the face of that heavenly toddler and he knew he would do it again in a heartbeat. And God used the obedience of this quiet, Godly carpenter—and not only to protect and nurture the young Messiah but to provide principles that Jesus would employ in His ministry. I say this because it seems to me that many of the illustrations Jesus used in His teaching came out of Joseph’s shop. Remember when Jesus said, “Take My yoke upon you?” Well, as a carpenter he would have learned from Joseph how to make yokes easy for the oxen to wear. He knew how to shape them to fit just right. You can almost see the tools of the trade in Jesus’ words as He spoke. For example, you can see the trueness of a plumb line as He called for moral standards. You can hear the whistle of the plane as He pled for religion to shave away the unnecessary traditions. God DID use Joseph’s quiet, dependable obedience in so many ways.
So—we can learn a great deal from this seemingly UNNECESSARY participant in the Christmas story. Joseph’s life can teach us all that when difficult times come—when it seems as if life has thrown us a curve ball:
- We must PRAY. We must be honest with God and ask for the peace and understanding that He promises.
- We must FORGIVE those who wrong us. We must try to see their need for restoration more than our need for revenge.
- And no matter how difficult it is to do so, we must always OBEY God.
I don’t know about you but I thank God that this foster father of Jesus wasn’t written out of the script! You know, all of us play an important role in the Christmas story as we respond to the birth, life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. And, if you are here this morning and are not a Christian, then now is the time for you to take your cue from the Holy Spirit and repent of your sin and put your trust in the One Who came as a babe in a manger at Bethlehem. He wants to come into your life. Won’t you open the door and invite Him in now? Others may need to respond by publicly by following God’s leading to join this church Some may feel God commanding them to do other things. Remember, Christians—We show our love for God by obeying His commands. Won’t you obey and do as He tells you to as we stand now and sing? Bobby and Kevin and I will be standing at the front and would rejoice to talk and pray with you about any decision you have to make.